mindfulness smoking

this is not meant to be an anti-smoking post.  that would be hypocritical of me, especially as i reflect on the days in college when it was fine to smoke inside of a bar and no one thought twice about throwing a cigarette butt directly onto the floor beneath the table where we were eating and drinking from...myself included.

my gripe is this: when walking to work, freshly showered and make-upped (now a word), and enjoying the mental respite that comes with a 25 minute walk before starting my work day, there are few things more revolting, annoying and shocking than having someone blow their morning cigarette smoke directly into your my face.  it is never intentional, but it is always sickening.  the blend of morning breath, exhaled cigarette smoke, hot air, and the city sewage steam it inevitably picks up along the way to my (and other pedestrians') face makes my stomach turn over.  i'm not asking you to stop smoking...i'm asking you to be mindful when you exhale.  it may be a futile request, but one i think worth making.

the worst example of this i recently saw while walking down 16th street towards market.  we had just passed the dunkin donuts at sansom street and a dapper man, dressed in his work suit and holding his brief case in one hand, exhaled directly into the face of an elderly man behind him.  the smoking man did not know this took place and i don't think he intended to do this and continued his brisk walk to work.  the older man literally stopped in his tracks and began to cough and rub at his eyes.  he looked a little bit embarrassed and certainly grossed out.  when there are 4 people across a sidewalk in the rush hour walk to work, i do think it becomes a social grace to be aware of who you are smoking near and where your hot smoker's breath is going.  the same way it is rude to talk loudly on your cell phone while on a crowded train or bus....but that's another post entirely.

thanks for letting me vent...felt like breath of fresh air.

-citypersonwhoknows

the to doo-doo list.

so as some of you know, i recently started a new job.  i'm verrrrily excited about it and feel good about the place i'm working for and the balance of clinical and management skills i will be utilizing.  it has been a fairly smooth transition, save for one aspect: i now work for a large corporation (300+ employees) and am used to working for organizations with under 30 people.  this is not the primary issue.  the primary issue is that at any given point during the day, someone is using one of the bathroom stalls in the girls' bathroom.  i am used to stopping into the bathroom in my former company and having my space to take care of business, check my cell phone, put on some makeup, do my hair, take a nap.... wait what?

moving on.  i never realized how much i took that luxury for granted.  it is a serious issue in my opinion that this luxury is now obsolete.  now i have severe bathroom anxiety, or should i say performance anxiety, which of course makes everyone in the other stalls think that i have to take a number 2, but i do NOT do that in the first place! come on!  but really i can't even pee because there's so much dang activity going on.  it has improved a little bit over the last week, but still is difficult.  add that to the fact that i know almost nobody, and you can see how awkward this gets.

so i thought i'd put together a little list of "DOs" if you are in a similar boat, or actually if you're ever in any type of shared bathroom.  these things have become very clear to me since starting my job...please feel free to add to this list as you deem appropriate:

- if you go into the bathroom to simply wash your hands or touch up your make up, and you hear frantic foot work, sudden coughing, and frantic pulling of toilet paper rolls while coughing loudly coming from a stall, do your sister a favor, turn on the water really loudly, start humming, and maybe pretend to dry your hands at the same time with the automatic hand dryer.  do whatever you can to assist in pride maintenance for your fellow female in the bathroom stall who is mortified and irritated and anxious that someone just walked in mid-poo.

- if you do have to do number 2 (again, i don't know what that's like, so please let me know from your experience), do NOT, i repeat do NOT, do the things i mentioned in the item above.  you are SO OBVIOUS.  what you need to do is hold your ground, keep your feet close to the bowl so the person next to you can't see your shoes and ID you later in the day as you cruise past their cubicle, and wait until the person who came in after you has done their job and left.  they don't know the difference.  the alternative is that you suddenly start coughing, suddenly are finished and flush, and suddenly end up side-by-side at the sinks, trying to make small talk about work and pretend that you didn't just stop yourself midway through taking care of business.  which means you will inevitably have to return to the bathroom and deal with this problem all over again.  please do everyone a favor and just ride out the storm.

- do NOT laugh out loud when you hear someone sit down, start to pee with intensity and let out a toot at the same time.  it is true that it is one of the funniest things in the entire world when it happens, but it happens to the best of us, it's quite common when you have to pee really badly and have held it in while in a meeting with people you don't really know yet and are stomping your feet under the table and clutching your note pad till your knuckles turn white and laughter between stalls can be awkward as hell...i would know...i've laughed out loud before.  it's rarely smooth and you don't make a new girlfriend because of it.

- do not, as one lady in my building did, start grunting and rocking.  i can see the shadow on the floor rocking and the sounds of your grunts make me unbelievably uncomfortable.  so please, for the sake of everyone involved, do not do that. 

and so - i ask that you heed my advice, wish me luck on my  new job, and hope my performance anxiety decreases. i've gotta make it through the probationary period!

xo
peoplewhoknow.

ps - gentlemen, i'd love to know some of the ins-and-outs of your respective bathroom experiences.  it's a foreign world to us ladies (except for when at the bar, and you have absolutely no line, and sometimes we end up using the stall for just a quick tick).

aunt-ly duties.

my niece is in a gerber competition and it is my duty as her aunt to share the link so people can vote for her.

again, it's my duty.

vote!

Dear Indoor 2-Lane Track Walker: (an open letter by Brian Beacham)

...GET IN THE OUTSIDE LANE AND STAY IN THE OUTSIDE LANE BEFORE I RUN YOU OVER!

 

And yes, I like to change direction every half-mile...DEAL WITH IT!

 

Much appreciated,

 

Bri

thanks!

the blog hit the 1,100 views mark - either one or two of you hit the link over and over again, and then i'm concerned, or a few of you actually click it.  fun!  sorry that i still don't really know what i'm doing, but i'm having fun with it.  the most fun is when other people post - so if you have anything you want posted, about anything at all be it long and serious or short and sweet (brian beacham coming up next), feel free to send it to: peoplewhoknowblog@gmail.com and i'll be sure to get it up!  

i'mnotmeanttobeabiker

so i know you've been on the edge of your seats wondering how i've been making out with my new bike.  i wish i could tell you it's gone well.  the truth is: I STILL DON'T HAVE A BIKE AND I THINK IT'S A SIGN I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET ONE BUT I'M TOO STUBBORN SO I ORDERED A NEW ONE INSTEAD.

it started out so well.  the bike arrived, i picked it up in parts, told the workers i did not need assistance putting it together (the ultimate mistake in this entire story), and brought it home, all 40 lbs. of it in the form of a massive box.

there she was, in her vintage, broken down glory.  i was excited to get to work.  sarah came over and helped me begin the process.  we had some thai food and felt really good about ourselves at the beginning of it all.  enter sarah:

working away in my apartment, bringing to life my dreams of being a (SAFE) city biker.  and then we hit our first speed bump (pun 100% intended...i hope you knew it was a pun or else this side bar is really unnecessary).

I WAS GIVEN TWO RIGHT FOOT PEDALS.  YOU WOULD HAVE TO HAVE A COMPLETELY TURNED IN LEFT FOOT FOR THIS TO WORK.

my stomach began to knot and i began to flap my arms around wildly, knocking thai food all over my rug.  i was essentially screaming in a high pitched voice, "SARAH! SARAH! NOOO!!! SARAHHHHHH!!!!!! I DON'T HAVE CLUBBED FEET I CAN'T MAKE THIS WORK WHY DON'T I HAVE CLUBBED FEET I WISH I HAD CLUBBED FEET I HATE BIKES I HATE BIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  sarah might have a different recall of the event.

so i got over it and took a deep breath.  we began to work on other parts of the bike, thinking maybe i just needed to replace the pedal, no big deal.  until i hit POT HOLE number 2:

upside down handlebars.  are you kidding me.  so now not only would i need clubbed feet, but i would need inspector gadget arms to ride this bike.  mother. of. GOD.

you may see sarah in the top left corner of this picture holding her stomach: that's because we were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe....but also i was secretly crying.  i did my best to accept the fact that this was not going to happen that night.  sarah had to leave for her night-shift as a nurse at CHOP and said she would come back at 7am, lend me her car so i could take it back to the store and get a new bike (good friend she is).

so saturday morning rolled around.  i woke up feeling ready to make the most of the day and had visions of spending my saturday biking around the city in the beauteous fall weather.  sarah pulled up to my apartment and i frantically gathered my stuff because i did not want her to wait outside for too long after working a 12 hour overnight shift.  in my frenzy, i locked. myself. out. of. my. gd. apartment.  bike still inside.  keys definitely still inside.  it still hurts to go back to this moment.  you have to understand that i never lock myself out - it is a point of pride.  i have a system to ensure i have all of my belongings before i exit my apartment.

and so. i was locked out.  i called annie (sister) who lives a few blocks away, has a spare set, and is typically up by 6am.  no answer.  so proud of her for finally sleeping in, but wow, what a day to exercise that skill.

the morning looked like this:

that's me in sarah's car watching the sun rise (i had driven her back to her apartment so she could sleep while i figured out my key dilemma).  somewhere around 9:30am, i decided to do the terrible: call my brother and ask him to drive me down a spare set from the suburbs.  he was there within 21 minutes.  little brothers rock.

i thanked him profusely, he helped me get the bike into the car, and i was on my way.  i got to the store, and it took a solid hour for them to inform me that there was no replacement bike in the store, i'd have to get back online and re-order the bike, and no, there was nothing more they could do for me.  with my rejected refund in hand, i headed home.

i re-ordered the bike.

and i am now patiently waiting for it to arrive, at which point they WILL put it together for me before i walk out.

really (really) long story short: i don't think i'm meant to be a biker.

thanks for listening,
a wanna-be double-right footed, go-go gadget armed biker